Scamdanavia On Da Cheap

Scamdanavia on Da Cheap-A budget travelers' guide by ELG

-Go someplace else like Mexico or South America where beer is cheap!!

If you still go-

-Carry all the snacks and food you can, unless you want to combine this trip with a diet
-Buy all your beer at the state run store, and buy your vodka at the duty free shop in the airports
-Stay at Youth Hostels in the dorm. Bring earplugs so that you can't hear snoring or other loud sounds of the night. Bring your own liner or you will get charged for a sheet.
-Shop at grocery stores for your food. Get condiments from a restaurant, although they might try to charge you. Note ELG got into a fight with an old bat that wanted 7 Kroners for 1 little cube of butter!!!
-Spend much of your time looking and talking to all the beautiful blonde women. This is the only thing free in these countries and I believe that this natural resource is why these places are so expensive!! Note, do not exercise this option if you are traveling with a significant other. They will hurt you bad, if you do!
-During breakfast at the Hostels, eat everything that you can, and then stick huge volumes of food like hard boiled eggs in your pockets for later.
-Use bathrooms in the museums, you will get charged everywhere else.
-Use the Internet at the library
-Get on the bus in the middle door and don't pay. In Oslo they never check.
-Bring a sink stopper and wash your underwear in the sink of the Hostel.
-Do a lot of walking/hiking and go to the few "free" places like the Parks

Showering-

-If you don't mind smelling a little gamey, don't shower very often. This option was employed by Jake. Warning: This method of saving money may have a negative impact on the freebie of talking to beautiful blondes!!
-Bring your own towel and TP --Remember you are heavily charged for everything
-You only get five minutes of shower for five bucks, so have your partner time you and yell out time in 30 second intervals and after 2 minutes and 30 seconds, get out and let him/her in.
-Check to see if all time has been used in other shower stalls, if not-get in!!!
-Go to the office and claim that the timer machine "ate your Kroners" and didn't deliver any water. This might get you one or two free showers.
-Rent a two wheel drive vehicle in Iceland and make it more of an adventure
-Go in the off season and freeze your ass off.

These are just a few of the ELG tips in Scamdanavia on Da Cheap. If you want more, buy my book and don't be so cheap!!!